Germany in July: rubber boots would be a good idea. Or at least a rainproof jacket, insulated, an umbrella and don’t forget a scarf! Outdoor venues are closed, it is freezing f🥶ing cold! Yikes. I’m wearing underwear, socks, long pants, T-Shirt, Sweatshirt, layers and layers, and I’m still cold. I have an extra wool blanket on my bed and I’m cold, despite wearing a nightshirt!

Paso Robles, California on the other hand is dealing with a heat wave right now. 47 degrees Celsius (=116 F), that’s when the air flimmers and everything comes to a standstill. PG&E (Pacific Gas & Electric) are switching off the power, air conditions won’t work, your barbecue steaks in the freezer will defrost and there won’t be any ice cubes for your drinks. Americans like to drink everything with ice cubes. I mean, they have a little taste of something in their glasses filled with ice cubes and when they’re finished, half the glass of ice cubes will be thrown in the sink. Hard to understand when you grow up in Europe…

When I moved to the US 26 year ago, I always thought that everything will be the same, except the language, and since I learned English at school, I thought I’m prepared for the challenge. Little did I know! The language I learned turned out to be the medieval cousin of the American language spoken in the US. Not only do Americans have a chewing gum in their mouth when they speak vs English people, who have a hot potato in their mouth, they also use different words and you have to be careful to stick with the proper vocabulary. So don’t buy rubbers for your children’s first day of school equipment when they are just in 3rd or 4th grade. That’s more appropriate for 10th grade, when they really need a rubber / eraser / condom 😳. And calling a doctors office to ask for a date with a gynecologist isn’t such a fun idea either, because a date is something very different than an appointment, one less professional and more romantic than the other. And there are so many more examples of “sitting in the clanger” which means to “put one’s foot in one’s mouth”. But luckily I got a big portion of humor and I hope all the people around me got the same, otherwise they’d just turn around and laugh, roll their eyes, be shocked or otherwise not be my friends anymore.

In college, where I teach fashion design, it is a bit challenging in its own way. Officially there are lots of possibilities to make mistakes and the list is long on what you can say or ask. For example I cannot ask a student where he/she/them is from. That is a micro-aggression, indicating that – because they look different or speak with an accent – I assume that they are not as good as their American classmates. I look different myself and my German accent is recognized as soon as I open my mouth. So I kinda sit in the same boat, but I’m not allowed to ask my students where they’re from?!? And in Fashion Design I’m supposed to say chest, high point, rear and bottocks instead of breast and butt. Sometimes I catch my students with this frozen expression of a shocked deer in the headlights because I say the name of a body part in an inappropriate way and I think: c’mon people, get rid of that prudish political correctness and start having fun again! 😳😳😳